Improv Survivor

(*if by "island" you mean stage. A deserted stage. With improvisors on it. And fake palm trees. And a full house of cheering audience members. So it's really just like a deserted island, only... uh... different.)

Improv Survivor is in no way, either explicitly or implied, affiliated or connected with the 80s hair band of similar name. We will not be singing “Eye of the Tiger” or any of your other favorite Survivor hits like “High on You” or “Burning Heart.” At least, probably not. I mean, it is improvised, so who knows? If we do, please don’t tell anyone or the RIAA will come down on us like an anvil for copyright infringement.

March 5 and March 6  

This week: Tara emerged as the player to beat, winning both matches Friday and Saturday. With the combined strength of her improv skills and irrepressible cuteness, the cocky Tara, now 20 million Turkish Lira richer, is confident she can win every match. When told that's impossible as she can't win the matches she's hosting, the ever determined Tara replied ""Oh, I'll find a way!""

On Friday, Glenn, frustrated with a failed alliance with Tara during a Shakespeare scene, tore the head of off Chris's Ken Doll. The audience, clearly sympathizing with Chris whose foot injury forced him to play the show on crutches, retaliated by quickly voting Glenn off the island. Glenn did manage to place second on Saturday, but the scene haunts him still, much like Hamlet's ghost.

Other highlights included:

* Alan's one man string of pearls story about a space launch in Carthage
* Tara as the third wheel on Christian and Brian's date
* Jennifer's story about the ""monkey who could""
* Chris' tour de force as the two-man/one-man paramedic/police officer team
* Dave's bullet-riddled presidential bodyguard
* Glenn and Tara's touching portrait of poor but happy frogs

And who could forget Kareem Abdul-Jabar's surprise appearance!

Can Tara be beaten? Will Glenn ever fully overcome destroying Chris's doll? Will the audience Tribal Council continue to be distracted by the smell of fresh-baked cookies?

March 12 and March 13

Friday March 12:
Host: Alan
Cast: Brian, Christian, Dave, Glenn, Jennifer Justice, Tara

Saturday March 13:
Host: Glenn
Cast: Alan, Brian, Christian, Jennifer Justice, Susan, Tara

Friday, Tara continued her winning ways by edging out Glenn by 2 points to claim her third consecutive victory. The next morning Tara tried to open a numbered bank account in the Caymans to store her 30 million Turkish Lira. When informed that $22.75 wasn't a large enough opening deposit, Tara replied ""What do you mean $22.75?""

On Saturday night, Tara surprised everyone by abandoning the Moana tribe to play for Moku. The move would cost her the end of her streak, as Moana tribe member Christian, on the strength of his own irrepressible cuteness, prevailed. Christian, speaking under condition of anonymity, said ""I'm glad the b@*% went down. I was so tired of her singing that annoying 'I'm the only winner, I'm filthy rich' song backstage all the time.""

Other highlights included:

* The Secret Life of Silverware
* Dave and Tara's Snake-Fu Battle as written by Shakespeare
* A Day in the Life of Nora, Jennifer's Piano Student
* The Gerbil Habitrail Date Horror
* Susan's Blind Date with the Audience
* The Hot Damn Technical Difficulties Song

And who could forget Glenn making the audience say ""Awww!""?  In fact, no one has an excuse for forgetting that scene as it will live on in perpetuity on our website:

http://www.un-scripted.com

Will the Moku tribe ever produce a sole survivor? Will Tara realize the exchange rate to Turkish Lira before trying to buy that luxury yacht? Will the audience Tribal Council be able to resist free, freshly-popped popcorn?"

March 19 and March 20

Friday March 19:
Hosts: Glenn, Jennifer
Cast: Alan, Brian, Chris, Christian, Dave, Tara

Saturday March 20:
Hosts: Tara, Jennifer
Cast: Alan, Brian, Christian, Glenn, Susan, Dave

Dave amazed everyone by not only sweeping both games, but by winning Friday night while playing for the Moana tribe and then winning Saturday playing for Moku, becoming the first Moku tribe member to be crowned sole Improv Survivor. When asked about the key to his success, Dave replied, in an otherworldly voice, ""No longer shall irrepressible cuteness be a match for the powers of darkness and evil. The combinedarmies of Mordor and Isengard will ravage this so called 'Improv Survivor Island.' There will be no dawn of cuteness!""

Other highlights included:

* Glenn's 401K Soul/Funk
* Alan's Giant Tree Sloth
* Dave & Tara's Hot Tub Opera
* The Near Drowning, Toe Breaking, ""S""-Lacking Danger Round!"

March 26 and March 27

Friday March 26:
Hosts: Alan
Cast: Chris, Brian, Christian, Dave, Glenn, Tara

Saturday March 27:
Hosts: Chris
Cast: Alan, Brian, Christian, Glenn, Susan, Tara

Friday night saw an intense solo round competition. After Jennifer's side-splitting hip hop ""Green Leaves"" left the audience in tears, Christian was forced to break out the most dangerous solo game of all: a multiple character solo scene, blindfolded, barefoot, with mousetraps covering the floor. The scene left both the audience and Christian in tears, and resulted in Christian prevailing as the sole Improv Survivor!

After that, any tale of Saturday's fabulous show will pale in comparison. Let's just say Glenn won by ripping a hole in the fabric of the universe on stage while singing ""Ah, never mind. It just can't compare with mousetraps.""

Other highlights included:

* Jennifer and Tara's eye-gouging opera
* Christian and Chris in love on an El-Train
* The Pig Latin Love Scene, with a Lisp."

April 2 and April 3

Friday April 2:
Host: Christian
Cast: Brian, Chris, Dave, Glenn, Jennifer, Tara

Saturday April 3:
Host: Brian
Cast: Chris, Christian, Glenn, Jennifer, Susan, Tara