In A World... Where You Take on the Attributes of Things You Eat

The kids have tasted the birds and the bees, and it's giving them quite a buzz, an author bends his muse to his will with a good dose of toner, and a priest questions why his faith comes from a bottle instead of from within.  What happens in a world where eating rocks can get you stoned, and Happy Meals really make you happy?  Does it matter that your abrasive teen is just snacking on SOS pads?  And should you really chow down on test answers before taking that big test, or will you just end up regurgitating misunderstood facts?