3 Things in Common

This one's for the big people.

I forgot about this game until Cort used it in a team-building training we co-led last week.

Here's the structure:

1. Find a partner.
2. Spend a few minutes talking and see if you can find something, you have in common.
3. If you find one thing, keep going and see if you can find another thing. Then another...see if you can find 3 things in common.
4. AND let's avoid the low-hanging fruit (i.e. things that are obvious)
5. After doing this once, thank your partner and find a new partner...see if you can find new and different things in common with your new partner.
   

Since the group had an odd number of people, I got to participate and it was great. I had really interesting conversations with each of my partners -- all of which went in directions I wouldn't have predicted.

Cort added a new twist which was on the third partner, changing it to sharing something you feel proud of that people wouldn't know by meeting you. Another totally cool, interesting conversation! In just a few minutes I had engaging conversations with strangers about a wide-range of things (surfing to Prop 8 to home renovation), all of which were conversations I would have happily continued.

So it got me thinking about how one of the challenges I find socializing with parents on the playground and other places is breaking out beyond the small talk and "low-hanging fruit" parenting discussions. I tend to think of small talk as "filler" or "hard" and I definitely get stuck on what to ask or say to move beyond that easy fruit (naps or not, eating dirt, etc).

I imagine that using this exercise skillfully would give the person I'm speaking to a sense of being engaged with interest and not interrogated. It does seem like a piece of cake when given the context of the exercise...but how to do it unilaterally?

So dear readers (all 5 or 6 of you!), what questions do you find useful (or topics do you find fruitful) in finding meaningful "things in common"?